"I had three pots of the BWS, and after that I dinna see nuffin." - Purana Taskforce witness No. C354 (name suppressed).
"The Australian people should be very worried. This is just a Big New Stout." - Tony Abbott, Federal Member for Warringah and long-time devotee of the fizz.
"I was having a really quiet night at the footy. Next thing I knew, I'd had a couple of Berties, and I was up, outa me seat and abusing the guy next to me. Looked at the photos later and I had a vein popping outa me head. Now that's a sign of a good stout." - E. McGuire, c/o Lexus Centre.
"What the hell did you put in that stuff? Licorice? Seaweed?!! Christ! I woke up in a hotel room in me reg grundies with a remote control in me hand - do you know how much trouble I'm in?" - Ricky, Kew Vic.
"Perfect with moose. Not the chocolate one, the one with the antlers." Sarah P., Wasilla, Alaska
"I heard some people shouting, then two shots rang out, but only old Bertie Wrout came out. It was nothing out of the ordinary for around here." R. Blumhoff, lover, neighbour and next of kin. Portland, VIC.
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